5 Things you can do to satisfy your sports hunger
Well it’s been another week and there’s still no sports. Worse still, Kansas Basketball still HASN’T BEEN NAMED NATIONAL CHAMPIONS. I am distraught. Nonetheless, I persist.
As this health crisis continues to permeate into seemingly every conversation and affect nearly every industry, millions of people find themselves at home just about every hour of every day. And because so many avenues of entertainment have been hampered by this social quarantine, I find my hunger for sports almost lethally unsatisfied. I have found a few ways to soothe that pain, though, and I figure it would be irresponsible; nay, unethical for me to enjoy these methods without sharing them with others. So I present to you, in no particular order, my Top-5 Ways to Satisfy your Sports Hunger
5. Rewatch old games
Without new sports, what better way is there to fill that vacuum than to consume old games? Sure, they might not have the same luster as brand-spanking-new contests taking place in the moment, but it’s still sports, right? Better yet, why not go and rewatch footage of your favorite team’s best seasons? Maybe even seasons that culminated in a championship that you were able to experience? For me, that’s the 2008 Kansas Basketball season (from the bottom of my heart – thank you, CBS), the 2011 New Orleans Saints, the 2015 Kansas City Royals and 2016 & 18 Clemson Football. This might be especially difficult for Vikings, Clippers, Rangers and Canuck fans.
Even if your team hasn’t won a championship or you’ve already binged all of your favorite events, there’s a pretty good chance that you haven’t seen every good game. Why not use this opportunity to go back and see the most of what yesteryear has to offer? Here are the ones I’m looking forward to watching this week.
1976 NBA Finals Game 5 (Suns v Celtics)
1989 Super Bowl XXIII (Bengals v 49ers)
2011 World Series Game 6 (Rangers v Cardinals)
I have to tell you, I don’t know much about hockey, so I’m going to watch the 1980 Miracle on Ice because it’s the one I know about. Eat my butt.
4. Play sports video games
Duh. This goes without saying. Just boot up your favorite game, turn the difficulty all the way down and take your team to the promised land. One of my favorite things to do in college was play 2K with my roommates, draft and assemble teams and then simulate an entire NBA season with them. The best part was that we’d throw in weird restrictions like ‘Okay, you have to draft a 12-man roster, but you can only pick players under 6’1” or “Pick 3 colleges and use only players from those 3 colleges to make your team” (LSU was an INSANELY underrated pick in this scenario).
Sidenote: one of my favorite things that ever happened when we did this was when my friend Jimbo (not his real name, long story) created an insane 76ers team that went 81-1 in the regular season. But then in the playoffs, in the Eastern Conference Finals, his brother’s Knicks team swept the 76ers. We actually simulated Game 4 and watched the whole thing. It was the best.
If you don’t have nearby family or roommates, you can also get your fix from r/collegebasketball’s March Madness simulation in 2K NCAA Basketball.
It’s still March, baby.
3. Read a book
In this world of information and content, it can sometimes feel like you’ve read it all and seen it all. If you follow the right people on twitter and keep up to date with your timeline, you can stay pretty in-the-know with whatever’s happening in your favorite sports league at any given moment. A young player has a breakout performance? There’s a highlight video of that. New player movement? There’s an insider with the scoop. Any and all player drama can be documented, discussed, and sometimes even found on social media.
And as social media continues to become the end-all be-all for sports content, both journalistic and creative, the demand for books about sports has decreased over the years. But without any new information or games, the need for a platform that keeps you informed as things happen has decreased. Because you know… nothing’s happening. So, in keeping with today’s theme: why not go backwards? There is a bevy of influential, well researched, and outright brilliant sports content that can all be found within the bindings of books. Some of them are controversial, some of them are revelatory, some of them are funny, and some of them are a combination of all three.
After all, you probably need to read more. I’m betting you haven’t read a whole book in a good long while. Why not grease the skids and make that book about something you’re actually interested in like sports? If you really don’t feel like reading a book that has old-school sports journalism as the driving creative force, please read Basketball (and Other Things) by Shea Serrano. You won’t regret it.
2. Work out in the house
You can also use this free time to learn a new skill. I know a bunch of people are learning how to cook or play an instrument which are wonderful investments of time. Like reading, we all say that we should be doing things to get in shape. Yeah the gyms are closed, but why not use this free time to get yourself into shape at home?
And to that effect, I’d like to introduce you to my new signature workout routine:
The Clayton Crowley Corona Quarantine Work-Out Program.
The workout is as follows and is to be strictly adhered to.
In an area of your choosing, with ample space do:
Pushups (until you throw up)
Sit-ups (until you shit your pants)
Repeat this process every day for the remainder of this pandemic.
Trust me: after this whole thing passes, if you’ve been following the program, you will be amazed at the physical state you will find yourself in. And don’t worry – you’re not alone. Remember that I’m out there following the program every day.
1. Consume my content
Did you think I wouldn’t use this opportunity to shamelessly plug myself?
Do you also think that the Earth is flat?
If what you’re trying to do is satisfy your sports hunger, I’m a fucking sports-Snickers.
I’ve got articles about things like if each NBA team were Star Wars characters, if the Solar System was a basketball team, what the future of the NFL looks like now that the Chiefs have won the Super Bowl, and whether I should still hate Kevin Durant.
I’ve also got videos in which I make the case for players like Larry Bird, Magic Johnson and Tim Duncan (yes, Tim Duncan) as the greatest basketball players of all time. And guess what? I’m going to continue making those videos for the other players that you think are in the conversation! So you’d better subscribe to my YouTube channel, or risk missing my kickass analysis and critique.
You’re wondering what to do with your free time.
I am the answer.